Straight White Male

I have problems in my life, so I wrote a song about the problems in my life, and hopefully some of you can relate to it.

Walking around, I've got no one to talk to There's everyone, and then there's just me If I could change, don't you think that I'd do it God only knows why he cursed me to be A straight white man

I state my problems Other people roll their eyes Three trips to the mall And zero khakis in my size I've never been the victim Of a random search for drugs But you can't say my life is easy Until you've walked a mile in my UGGs

Straight white man, I know the road looks tough ahead The women want rights The gays want kids (what?) Can't you just leave us alone? And also, no, to the things you asked for

Everyone thinks that I've got it easy Just 'cause it's true, doesn't mean that it's right So pull up a chair, and put down your pitchforks Give me a chance to show you what it's like To be a straight white man

The churches never made me Feel ashamed of who I am But I get e-mails from Zappos That g-mail doesn't mark as spam My country's Constitution was Hand-written by my race But my wife bought me the brand new iPhone With an iPod Touch's case (case doesn't fit that phone)

Straight white man, I know the road looks tough ahead The women want rights The blacks want not to be called the blacks Can't you just leave us alone? And also, no, to the things you asked for No

Straight white man, I know the road looks tough ahead The women want rights The African-Ameri-it doesn't work for the rhythm We used to have all the money and land We still do but it's not as fun now