Slipshod

"Oi fucks, let's eat 'ere, it looks niiice"

Get me the manager "Oh dear, what seems to be the problem sir?"

First of all I was greeted with a grimace Service with a sneer He don't want to be here

Second of all I was seated by the window and the draft was a serious inconvenience

There was lipstick on my glass and it wasn't mine We put our order in - I can't believe the time This is a shambles, your cook is a heathen Your carpet is ugly and your veg ain't in season

My impatience spread like gravy on a tablecloth And your head looks like it was carved out of a nut

Rory C, well, tell 'em… I was waiting in line for 10 whole minutes This is unacceptable - you're pushing me to my limits!

"Please don't raise your voice in here sir This is a respected establishment, I'm sure we can sort this out quietly no?"

Oh really? Well that's a great vase you got there, It'd be a real shame if something happened to it…

Slipshod, kick it. Cunt.