Paralytic States

She could hear them fucking through those thin hotel walls '…She heard baby'’s crying, she heard laughter, she heard sirens Red and blue lights flashing through those cheap hotel drapes Blood spilled out on the porcelain The bathtub'’'s overflowing

Paralytic states of dependency Our waking life'’'s just a living dream Agitated states of amazement Never quite the woman that she wanted to be Never quite the woman that she wanted to be

Spread out face down on those stained, cheap hotel sheets She spent the last years of her life running from the boy she used to be Cut her face wide open, shaved the bone down, then pumped her lips up exaggerated, A fucked up kind of feminine

Paralytic states of dependency Our waking life'’'s just a living dream Agitated states of amazement Never quite the woman that she wanted to be Never quite the woman that she wanted to be

Night time at the hotel, there was fighting in the hall Thin chain lock to keep the world out, she held her breath till it was gone Standing naked in front of that hotel bathroom mirror, In her dysphoria's affection, she still saw her mother''’s son.

Paralytic states of dependency Our waking life''’s just a living dream Agitated states of amazement Never quite the woman that she wanted to be

By the time the ball dropped, it was already over No resolutions for the new year beginning tomorrow